Are You a Hoogie?

Dear Hoogie Button-2Are you a Hoogie?

What is a Hoogie, you ask?

A Hoogie is the middle child (or monster!) of the family.

If you’re a Hoogie, maybe sometimes you feel sad and left out like Hoogie does (even though we’re sure your family loves you just as much as Hoogie’s family loves her).

Well, sometimes it helps to talk about your feelings. If you have a question for Hoogie about a middle-child problem you’re having, write Hoogie a quick note by replying to this blog post. Hoogie promises to answer your questions to the best of her ability. After all, she’s been there!

P.S. If you’re not a Hoogie, don’t worry. If you’ve read Hoogie in the Middle, you’ll know that Hoogie has an older sister called Pumpkin and a younger brother named Tweezle. If you’re a Pumpkin instead of a Hoogie (i.e. the oldest in the family), write to Pumpkin instead and she’ll be happy to answer! Or, if you’re a Tweezle (the youngest in the family), write to Tweezle and he’ll give you his best advice too!

Hoogie Looking Uncertain_edited-1IMPORTANT NOTE FROM HOOGIE!!

Your privacy is important, so only leave your first name (NOT your last name). In fact, if you want to use a made up name, that’s okay too!


16 comments to Dear Hoogie Advice Column

  • Lilly

    Dear Hoogie,
    I have a new baby sister and nobody is paying attention to me anymore. Everything is about the new baby and how cute she is. Even worse, they let my older sister hold the baby but they don’t trust me. What should I do?

  • Hoogie

    Dear Lilly,

    I know exactly what you mean! It was exactly the same for me when Tweezle came along. For a while, you couldn’t even find a photograph of me! It was like Tweezle was the only important thing in the world! I have to admit that he is cute, but it hurt that I seemed to get pushed aside to make room for him. And, like you, they didn’t let me hold him because they thought I would drop him. They let Pumpkin hold him, but not me!

    Here’s what I want to tell you … stick up for yourself! I’m not one to talk, because I eventually “exploded” to get Mom and Dad’s attention (you know what I mean … I just screamed when I’d had enough). You don’t have to do that, but you do have to say something. Talk to your mom and dad and tell them how you’re feeling. Say something like this: “Mom and Dad, I want to tell you that I’m feeling a little left out. I know the new baby is cute, and I know my older sister seems more responsible than me, but there are really great things about me too!” Write a list of all the things you think are great about you and remind your mom and dad about what they are. You know what you’ll find? You’ll find that your parents are HAPPY that you told them how you were feeling.

    Here’s one thing I do know. I know they love you as much as my mom and dad love me. Ask them if they can schedule some part of each day just for you. Even if it’s just five minutes! Maybe they’ll read a book just with you. Or maybe you and your mom can take a walk around the block, just the two of you, while your dad takes care of the baby. Or maybe you can play a game or bake cookies, just you and your dad. Those are just a few ideas. I’m sure you and your parents can think of lots more. The important thing is to speak up and tell them how you feel.

    Let me know how it goes!

  • Hoogie

    I bet you are cool too, Ashley!

  • Ashley

    Dear Hoogie

    You are cool!

  • Alison

    I like Hoogie because she’s like me a little bit.

  • Hoogie

    Hi Alison … Hoogie likes you too … because she’s a little bit like you!

  • Kanses

    I loved the book Hoogie in the Middle because I’m a Hoogie. I have a younger sister and an older brother. I don’t mind being a Hoogie! It’s fun and I love them both.

  • Hoogie

    Good for you Kanses. I feel the same way! Maybe I argue with my older sister (Pumpkin) or younger brother (Tweezle) sometimes, but I really love them too!

  • Kyla

    Dear Stephanie (and Hoogie),
    We miss you very, very much. I hope you enjoyed your trip to Hopedale! It was nice to meet you. I liked your books. I especially liked Hoogie in the Middle and your donut jokes. We loved the card you gave us! We were telling donut jokes!
    I can’t wait to see you again you were very nice to us!
    From your friend,

  • Hoogie (and Stephanie)

    Hi Kyla,
    I really did enjoy my trip to Hopedale! What a beautiful part of Canada you live in. You are very lucky to live there.
    Your class was so much fun to present to, and Hoogie and I will always treasure the memories of our amazing tour of Labrador.
    Thank you for writing!

  • M

    My Mom isn’t playing with me but she is playing with my brother. What should I do?

  • T

    I am having a hard time playing with my two sisters because they are always bossing me around. What should I do?

  • steph

    Hi M … Am I right that maybe you’re older than your brother? Maybe the reason your Mom is playing with your brother and not you is because he needs a little more help. Babies and toddlers tend to demand a lot of attention! One thing I used to do when my baby brother seemed to get too much attention and I was feeling left out is to see if I could help out with him in some way. For example, sometimes I would tell my mom that I would help keep him busy by reading a story to him. That gave my mom a bit of a break and she ended up having more time for me. The one thing I do know, M, is that “time” doesn’t equal “love”. What I mean by that is that even though maybe your mom isn’t always spending “time” with you because she’s so busy with your brother, I’ll bet she’s still thinking about you and loving you so much. It sounds to me as if she’s trusting that you’re okay, but maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to also tell her that you would also like some of her attention. For example, you could say, “Mom, I know ‘brother’ needs your attention a lot and that you have a lot to do. Could we make a date to spend some time together, just to two of us?” I hope this helps!

  • steph

    Hi T … Boy of boy, I hear you loud and clear! I’m like you, I really do NOT like getting bossed around, but I definitely know that this happens with brothers and sisters, especially when there are two against one! I wonder if you are the youngest? I have an idea of great book you might try to find in the library. It’s called “And You Can Be The Cat”, and it’s written by Hazel Hutchins and illustrated by Ruth Ohi. I love this book. In the story, a boy called Norman is getting bossed around all the time by his older sister, Leanna, when they play games. Leanna will have a friend over and they will invent a creative adventure where they are pioneers or royalty or something fun. Leanna and her friend get to be the best characters in these games and they always boss Norman around and make him an insignificant part of the game. Where Leanna and her friend get to be warriors and heros, they make Norman play the role of the cat where he doesn’t get to do very much or be important in any way. Norman finally gets tired of being bossed around, and while Leanna and her friend are setting up some new adventure, Norman invents a most amazing, fantastic adventure of his own that is BETTER than what Leanna and her friend are doing. Now they want to join HIS game! But would you believe it, even when Norman says they can join him, they STILL try to boss him around and tell him what to do. But Norman is clever and he ends up taking control of the situation in a very surprising way which makes Leanna and her friend see him in a new light that will make it difficult for them to boss him around in the future. You probably won’t find this book in the book store because it’s old, but your library might have it. If you can’t find it, let me know and I’ll see if I can dig up a copy for you. I hope this helps!

  • T and M

    Thanks for the information. I’ll try to look for the book! T

    Thank fro helping me – M

  • steph

    Hope it was useful to the students!

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